tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87862435979946854742024-02-07T14:51:25.203-08:00Stuff Brian SaysA blog about a silly man that says silly thingsHeather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-9815147960167951282012-09-11T17:58:00.001-07:002012-09-11T18:03:27.137-07:00SBS #92: Jurassic Back RibsIf we ever figure out how to clone dinosaurs, we should roast them up to see if they make good barbecue. Mmmm, slow roasted dino!Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-74137649030927149572012-06-13T18:11:00.003-07:002012-06-13T18:11:45.811-07:00SBS #91: La La La La La La La La La La LaMe: No, Brian. You can't do that.<br />
Brian: Fine, I'll just go smurf off then!Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-29986732586522124032012-05-05T14:46:00.000-07:002012-05-05T14:48:37.414-07:00SBS #89: What do sexy librarians wear?Me: Suzanne gave me some pencil skirts today.<br />
<br />
Brian: Are the #2 pencil skirts?<br />
<br />
Me: No, but they are second-hand.<br />
<br />
Brian: Oh, well that counts.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-90834956614004640052012-02-24T19:36:00.000-08:002012-02-24T19:36:05.868-08:00SBS #88 - Maybe she was looking for toilet paper...Brian: What is the cat looking at?<br />
Me: The ceiling. I think cats can see things we can't. They are very smart, ya know?<br />
Brian: How smart can she be? She uses her tongue as toilet paper!<br />
Me: Well, you do have a point.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-53165307182321596362012-02-07T18:53:00.000-08:002012-02-07T18:53:59.151-08:00SBS #87 - The difference between boobs and breasts...Brian: We are planning on boob-feeding when we have kids, right?<br />
Me: It's called breast-feeding Brian, not boob feeding. You big boob!Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-64666970344025518032012-01-15T11:25:00.001-08:002012-01-15T11:25:43.673-08:00Stuff Brian Wears #7: Everything is better with bacon...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKqr60JTYj4Kf_OFWHa8NvcwPR6CCBJDE2t9Xw1b3I7hAP-Ez37sMR0-dhEgwpnSFZJeVNLOaRgQz6uke4KCZOG-avYw0M6sKQyoQC-snWkfIC0x5G6FfKUgxm_tyQuL5QB0xYEM8vJAU/s1600/IMG_0283.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKqr60JTYj4Kf_OFWHa8NvcwPR6CCBJDE2t9Xw1b3I7hAP-Ez37sMR0-dhEgwpnSFZJeVNLOaRgQz6uke4KCZOG-avYw0M6sKQyoQC-snWkfIC0x5G6FfKUgxm_tyQuL5QB0xYEM8vJAU/s320/IMG_0283.JPG" /></a></div><br />
even cold weather :-)Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-15408877714741966592012-01-15T11:22:00.000-08:002012-01-15T11:22:02.105-08:00SBS #86 - The first thing Brian said to me this morning...Brian: Your cat pees like a fat guy at a football game.<br />
Me: Um, would you care to explain that one?<br />
Brian: You know, like a football fan who drinks a lot of beer while watching the game but doesn't want to miss anything so he just holds his bladder until the end of the game.<br />
Me: Ah, I see. So, who is her favorite team?<br />
Brian: We she kinda resembles a little bear so I am going to go with Chicago.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-52408570878408248492012-01-15T11:21:00.002-08:002012-01-15T11:21:33.171-08:00SBS #85 - Oh, please don't name it!!!While observing the growing mountain of tissue in the trash can resulting from my terrible cold:<br />
Me: Don't touch those. I'll clean it up. Wouldn't want you to get cooties.<br />
Brian: I'm not worried about touching it. I'm worried about naming it! How about Mt. Snotrag!?Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-70630566306591390262012-01-15T11:21:00.000-08:002012-01-15T11:21:01.325-08:00SBS#84 - Where for art thou spicy pepper girl...Brian: Honey, you are like a jalapeno popper. All golden and beautiful on the outside and all hot and spicy on the inside.<br />
Heather: That's romantic honey but you've got nothing on Shakespeare.<br />
Brian: Well, he has never had a jalapeno popper.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-54910385363691289762011-11-10T12:18:00.000-08:002011-11-10T12:18:03.054-08:00Stuff Brian Does #6 - The real reason Brian was "craving" Cinnamon Toast Crunch...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1kxiwwHHmmFTOT80Y7jhDU_eQ2tnjHZ910LB65wv1oP8dzo50QG-vojIoP2OG-Otx_AfOgyykE7mDaX1tJwT2U3Fkvdf8k35_OPFYjschUcnYrcCLIowBGcSHWnocyyBdr-4juRn0oRQ/s1600/the+cereal+of+superheroes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1kxiwwHHmmFTOT80Y7jhDU_eQ2tnjHZ910LB65wv1oP8dzo50QG-vojIoP2OG-Otx_AfOgyykE7mDaX1tJwT2U3Fkvdf8k35_OPFYjschUcnYrcCLIowBGcSHWnocyyBdr-4juRn0oRQ/s320/the+cereal+of+superheroes.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Yup! The cardboard Batman costume on the box. Folks, he is a perpetual child, LOL!Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-21813872825615696312011-11-04T07:55:00.000-07:002011-11-04T07:55:58.452-07:00#83 - Why Brian will never become a theater director...Me: I bought tickets for the Kennedy Center on New Years Eve.<br />
Brian: Cool! What are we seeing?<br />
Me: Billy Elliot. It's a play about ballet.<br />
Brian: Hmmm, dancing girls could be cool.<br />
Me: Um, it's about a boy who become a ballet dancer.<br />
Brian: Crap! Will there be any explosions?<br />
Me: I doubt it.<br />
Brian: How about bug-eyed monsters?<br />
Me: Probably Not<br />
Brian: Zombies?<br />
Me: Highly unlikely<br />
Brian: They gotta at least have killer robots or something!<br />
Me: I think Sweeny Todd ruined the theater for you (sigh)Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-75740992111617084302011-10-21T20:57:00.000-07:002011-10-21T20:57:22.459-07:00#82 - Why VDOT can stick that traffic cone where the sun doesn't shine...After being stuck in the third traffic jam on the way home from dinner:<br />
Me: Are you effing kidding me?!<br />
Brian: No, I am only regular kidding you.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-45551439069783081292011-10-17T18:56:00.000-07:002011-10-17T18:56:09.025-07:00#81 - I think Lionel Richie was being rhetorical...So, I am singing "I Love You" by Lionel Richie, and my husband decided to add a counter melody. It goes something like this:<br />
<br />
Me (singing): Cause I wonder where you are...<br />
Brian: I'm in the kitchen<br />
Me (singing): and I wonder what you do...<br />
Brian: I'm doing the dishes<br />
Me (singing): are you somewhere feeling lonely...<br />
Brian: No, the cats are in here with me<br />
Me (singing): or is someone loving you...<br />
Brian: I don't think they love me very much, except when I feed themHeather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-6916757006515722682011-10-09T19:25:00.000-07:002011-10-09T19:25:25.146-07:00#80 - We have a clucking problem here...When looking at a suspiciously dark paint color called "eggshell", Brian said "If that's eggshell colored, I'm not going to eat those eggs. In fact, I think I might have to kill the chicken just to be safe."Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-70705471487645628382011-10-02T11:53:00.000-07:002011-10-02T11:53:24.731-07:00Somewhere in a suburban sith lord neighborhood far, far away...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD-s8506AO3EIFG9zIaXK0h-JIP6Z16X4on5tzJV3pg5qDisuWxUnI-8lgNpRyn86GZCSvGZH33ibvbE7TOeZOYtDP499hsSdghpd2Jwel3-oWhlxz4S6pqM8fPy6xNgg4t3utmiDMcGE/s1600/deathstar_hedge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="200" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD-s8506AO3EIFG9zIaXK0h-JIP6Z16X4on5tzJV3pg5qDisuWxUnI-8lgNpRyn86GZCSvGZH33ibvbE7TOeZOYtDP499hsSdghpd2Jwel3-oWhlxz4S6pqM8fPy6xNgg4t3utmiDMcGE/s320/deathstar_hedge.jpg" /></a></div><br />
You think that's bad? Across the street, Darth Maul is planting petunias!Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-30904521972232040352011-09-28T11:43:00.000-07:002011-09-28T11:43:54.887-07:00I guess the dark side does have cookies...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7648NEYkEoRx5yxxdzK5ZX1fMnU4Aj5W28maTMnI1wLkMAwiUfOXkbB2IHHJANX0rJG1CDA_T9BBh12pO5JDiIH4PiQAf_m1hXMvaSrZauLnUTXV2hFO1Wwi3QAeEqD4u3zQfD3zT5Cs/s1600/storntrooper_in_the_rain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="180" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7648NEYkEoRx5yxxdzK5ZX1fMnU4Aj5W28maTMnI1wLkMAwiUfOXkbB2IHHJANX0rJG1CDA_T9BBh12pO5JDiIH4PiQAf_m1hXMvaSrZauLnUTXV2hFO1Wwi3QAeEqD4u3zQfD3zT5Cs/s320/storntrooper_in_the_rain.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Maybe the Death Star has a holodeck.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-28666729383394127822011-09-28T11:34:00.000-07:002011-09-28T11:34:47.288-07:00This is awesome! Just saying...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMYqjFxmBs_afOUD08zdp2aTR2QkdyrtdaCbYui-8sV1kSEt1m3A1no7G5Ujk8vXITTOYmlNIuIOa2Mr32TdWY3_gDIt2ghuoIAn6ZGfOPrvFqq-Mo9kDjWRExXLMHFCbMpdqH3riaqg/s1600/star_wars_band.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="200" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMYqjFxmBs_afOUD08zdp2aTR2QkdyrtdaCbYui-8sV1kSEt1m3A1no7G5Ujk8vXITTOYmlNIuIOa2Mr32TdWY3_gDIt2ghuoIAn6ZGfOPrvFqq-Mo9kDjWRExXLMHFCbMpdqH3riaqg/s320/star_wars_band.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Bring me Solo and the Wookie.....on guitar and drums!Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-47282576812448204942011-09-26T19:02:00.000-07:002011-09-26T19:03:56.173-07:00#79: I hope he didn't injure his funny bone...Me: Felix Jones landed kinda funny on that last play.<br />
Brian: Did he land on a clown?Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-81654700720119340742011-09-23T10:48:00.000-07:002011-09-23T10:48:31.061-07:00#78 - Chuck Norris Approved...Me: Hey Brian, do you like my new sneakers? They are walking shoes, made specifically for walking.<br />
Brian: That's cool. Ooooooh, I wonder if they make butt-kicking sneakers!Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-41928715866593603222011-09-20T09:02:00.000-07:002011-09-20T09:07:02.522-07:00#77 - Eat your heart out Shakespeare...Brian: You are as warm and snuggly as fresh lint from the dryer. <br />
Me: Honey, that was probably the most un-romantic thing you have ever said.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-7620576757418005062011-09-16T10:02:00.000-07:002011-09-16T10:02:26.959-07:00#76 - Why I am going to invent a washing machine with settings just for men...Me - I sort my laundry into three piles: darks, lights and reds.<br />
Brian - I sort mine into two piles: cheese stains and peanut butter stains.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-34655605813465046312011-09-10T09:41:00.000-07:002011-09-10T09:43:00.072-07:00#75: A very Sonic wedding...I think your cousin should have the wedding ceremony at Sonic Drive-In. I can just hear Megan saying "Take this tot as a token of my love and affection. With this onion ring, I thee wed."Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-44078216372043454792011-09-07T18:34:00.000-07:002011-09-07T18:34:43.686-07:00#74: A good reason to go commando, especially at family reunions...Me: I think God gave us families so we have people in our lives who have to love us, no matter what.<br />
Brian: I agree, even if they sometimes deserve a wedgie...Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-43978049390994953762011-08-25T11:31:00.000-07:002011-08-25T11:31:13.583-07:00#73 - Unusual ways to bait a trap...I am digging through the fridge looking for something to snack on when I notice a container of food that I hadn't seen before. This container stimulated the following conversation:<br />
<br />
Me: Brian, what is this?<br />
Brian: Potato salad<br />
Me: When and where did you get this potato salad.<br />
Brian: From some guy on the street. Why?<br />
Me: Brian, your not supposed to take food from strangers.<br />
Brian: No, your not supposed to take CANDY from strangers. You can, however, accept potato salad from strangers. It's perfectly harmless.<br />
Me: Ok, but I am going to let you check for poison before I eat any of it.Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8786243597994685474.post-57855375620700322862011-08-18T20:02:00.000-07:002011-08-18T20:02:43.482-07:00#72 - Why children should fear disney flicks...I can't wait for the sequel to Bambi. <br />
We'll call it "Bambi 2 - More bang for your buck"Heather Cooley-Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986756836434478862noreply@blogger.com0